


I guess I knew.

by welpeuuu



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, Cheating, How Do I Tag, I'm Bad At Tagging, M/M, Poor Haechan, markhyuck, sadtimes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-19
Updated: 2020-10-22
Packaged: 2021-03-09 06:00:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27100027
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/welpeuuu/pseuds/welpeuuu
Summary: Donghyuck is so done.
Relationships: Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Lee Jeno, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee
Comments: 20
Kudos: 126





	1. I'm so tired.

I guess you could say he had known it for a while now. The smiles didn’t quite reach his eyes the same way it used to. The late-night waiting seemed to lengthen every day, from 10 minutes to hours and hours. Watching the heat from his home-cooked meal slowly dissipate wasn’t fun anymore. It was draining. And what was Haechan meant to do but to accept it? Accept the fact that his husband, his soulmate, was slowly falling from his hands only to fall in love with another. He hates the guilty look he gets when Mark tells him he's not coming home early tonight. Because he knows his office hours don’t last that long, and there is no ethical amount of work the company can give to make him work till 2 am. 

It hits him the most when he’s washing the clothes and there a mocking red smear staring back at him on one of Mark’s unfamiliar office shirts. Could you at least be a little less obvious Mark? There’s a tiny crack in Haechan’s heart but he refuses to let it get the best of him. He scrubs and scrubs trying to forget about it that by the time he looks down the threads are undone and there’s a big gaping hole in cloth within his hands that compare nothing to the one in his heart. When Mark finds it later he frowns deeply and asks Haechan to be more careful with his shirts.

“There’s plenty in your closet,” Haechan says, handing him one he had bought for his birthday.

“No, It’s not the same… that was my favourite one”, Mark murmurs. If only Mark had looked to see the expression on his husband’s face. Maybe he would’ve realised the deafening shatter of his husband’s heart.

“Anyway, I-” Mark begins.

“won’t be coming home early so don’t bother cooking dinner” Donghyuck cuts in with his trembling voice. It only then does Mark look into his eyes. He’s on the verge of crying. 

“Hyuck..look you know work has been hard lately”, Mark starts, as he walking towards Donghyuck and pulling him into his arms.

“You’re always busy”, Donghyuck sighs.

“I know, I know, but I promise tomorrow. This Friday. It’ll just be you and I”, Mark convinces.

“Really?” Donghyuck says, looking into the brown eyes of his lover and falling completely head over heels in love once again. 

“Really.” Mark confirms, he glances down and at wristwatch before saying “I gotta go, love you!” and in a blink of an eye, he’s rushing out the door for work not without saving a chaste kiss for Donghyuck. 

“I love you too”, Donghyuck says teary-eyed. Mark made it so easy for him to fall in love. To forget about his mistakes. To be pulled along by the red string that connected them both.

But when he smells the awful sweet perfume coming from his blazer and glimpses the light marks on his neck, he decides it’s time to let go. 

So that very next day, Haechan goes to buy the very same shirt. He spends the whole day cooking all of Mark’s favourite meals, packing them into boxes and placing them neatly into the fridge. He stuffs his belonging from their room that has now become solely his, considering Mark hasn’t slept there in weeks. Once he’s erased his existence from their house, He spends the rest of his evening in a position he’s grown familiar to. Sitting in the living room glancing down the hallway to the door and the clock. When the clock strikes twelve, he calls Mark. One last chance he tells himself.

Ring... Ring... Ring...Where did they go so wrong? 

When the telltale automated message begins, he hangs up and slides to power off. God, he’s so tired. His hands were bruised and cut with his day in the kitchen. His back aching from standing for so long. Bruises from packing their pictures and stubbing his toe as he was blinded from his tears. Willing himself to stand up, he glances at the packaged shirt beside him and grabs the suitcases next to him. His gentle footsteps echo through the doorway and he heads towards the door. He grips the cold handle and pushes it open, letting in the frigid winter night air into the warmth of their house. It probably didn’t make much of a difference. Their love had burnt out a while ago.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wowowoowowow thanks for reading !! it's my first time writing pls be kind ahaha mayhaps a sequel will appear.


	2. I couldn't help it.

Cutting off the ignition, Mark sat in his car satisfied but horribly guilty. He couldn’t help it. It had all started on the night of their company dinner. The new secretary was being introduced to everyone and he was awfully flustered at the lengthy gaze she had cast upon him when they had met. Her longing eyes soon turned into something more passionate a few weeks later. He was only meant to help her figure out the company’s network system dammit, not familiarise himself with the curves and dips of her body. 

It was thrilling and different. Different from the way he held Haechan. Instead of whispering sweet nothings, he was grunting, moaning in satisfaction. He knew Haechan was the one he loved but at the sound of her kitten heels tapping on the floor, he had already exchanged his feelings for the addictive bliss that came if he followed. But he knew he had to put an end to it. So on Friday night, he tells her to meet him after work outside the hotel across the road.

“Why are you in such a rush? We have all night, don’t tell me you forgot to tell your husband that you’re working overtime,” she says as she tries to keep up with his fast-paced walking. Mark says nothing and instead opens up the door of the hotel room to let them both inside before locking the door.

“Look we can’t do this anymore,” Mark begins hurriedly.

“The hotel not your vibe anymore? I told you we can always go to my apartment” she says, already unbuttoning her blouse and taking off her heels. There’s a small smile on her face, she has always been waiting for an opportunity for their relationship to become more intimate.

“No- listen, you don’t understand we can’t keep doing THIS anymore,” Mark explains. When she hears this she begins to panic. Her plans were working so well? There’s no way they could mess up. Mark was meant to be hers. At her silence, Mark continues to explain.

“Donghyuck..he knows and I can’t keep doing this anymore. I can’t ruin my relationship for this. I love him.” Mark says trying to appeal to her but all she can see is red. How dare Donghyuck demand to have her lover? It’s all his fault he can’t satisfy Mark. Donghyuck doesn’t deserve him in the first place. While Mark continues, she catches a glimpse of Mark’s phone. There’s a reminder on it. *Go home early for dinner with Donghyuck!!* Well, she thinks, this should make it interesting. 

“I totally understand”, she says fluttering her eyes at Mark, cutting him off at his ranting.  
“You do? I always knew you’d get me. I better head-“ Mark replies in relief. Heading towards the hotel room door, he is suddenly stopped by a hand clutching his shoulder with shiny red nails matching the colour of its owner’s lips.

“But before you go, shall we…at least end it on a good note?” She suggests with a slight lilt in her voice. Before he knows it, he’s already looking back and getting pulled back onto the bed. It’s the last time he tells himself. The last time. 

Donghyuck is in a car to the airport at 1 am. There’s soft jazz music in the background and he’s glad the taxi driver has said nothing about his puffy swollen eyes except for sending a worried look. The flight left at 5 am that morning so by any means, he was already way too early for the flight. In the same way, I guess you could say he was too early in committing. Oh, how dumb and naive he was by saying ‘I do’ at the peak of his youth thinking his life was would be some sort of fairytale. In some ways, it was a fairytale. He remembers the first time they bought their apartment, their first Christmas together with all their friends, the movie nights and all. But as cliché, as it sounded, nothing lasted forever. 

His phone screen lights up the dark taxi as he turns it on to check his flight time on his phone. As if by destiny, there’s a call from Mark the moment he gets to his home screen and he totally freezes. What do I do? Should I pick up? Before he knows it, there are already tears falling down his face. Because he knows that if Mark told him to come back he would. Because fuck the plane ticket, fuck going home. Where else could possibly be safer and warmer but Mark Lee’s arms? It’s so scary to think that he is willing to give everything to a man who left him waiting in the dark waiting for the front door to open. But that's what Mark does to him. Amidst his internal conflict, his phone ceases to vibrate. There’s a picture of both of them on the day of their wedding, looking as happy as ever. Maybe this doesn’t have to be the end of their chapter. So he calls back waiting to hear Mark. But when his phone picks up, what he hears instead did nothing but end their tragic romance with a bang.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yo kinda a lowkey filler chapter to lead to the big angst fest that lies ahead. we love procrastination !! also love how i still struggle to English like damn


	3. How could you.

He had known for a while. But to hear Mark hold her the way he used to hold him in bed was too much. When the phone picked up he was met with high-pitched moans and the sound of dirty, filthy, good sex.

“Mark..please”, the women’s voice bled through the phone. The sounds travelled to his ears and surrounded him as if to taunt him. The sound of pleasure. He’s in pure shock. Did he call the wrong person? Suddenly he snaps back into reality at the unmistakable grunt from Mark. 

“Yes..always so good for me”, Mark blissfully groans. Haechan can’t help but let out a cry.

What is he doing? Is this some sick joke? At this, the sounds stop and all he can hear is his own heavy, uncontrolled breathing.

“Fuck, why is my phone-”, Mark swears in the far background and a desperate whine is let out by the woman.

“Donghyuck? Did you wai-?”, Mark’s raspy voice comes through louder after shuffling sounds of skin and blankets.

“H-How could you?”, Haechan trembles in utter disbelief.

“Haechan? Fuck no it’s not-”

“Were you just going to leave me there forever?”

“There? Hyuck. What are you talking about? Where are you?”

“No... you don’t get to fucking call me that anymore. Not when you were literally moaning her name through the phone like you didn’t have someone waiting for you, longing for you.”

“I know-”, Mark stammers.

“No, you don’t. You never did! Because if you knew how shitty it is to leave your husband in a dark room searching for the click of the door like some sort of obsessive maniac, you wouldn’t have done it. But you fucking did. And god it hurts so much but-” The words ‘I still love you’ stay unspoken, as Donghyuck cuts himself off before he can blurt anything he can regret.

“Listen to me Donghyuck. I-I’m gonna go back home right now and you’re going to be there and w-we’re going to talk this through” Mark says practically sobbing through the phone and Donghyuck can’t help but do the same. It’s heart-wrenching. It’s full of love and pain and it’s because they have both finally come to the realisation that their relationship now lies in tatters.

Donghyuck lets out a shaky breath and whispers through the phone, “I’m done waiting for you Mark.” And with that Donghyuck ends the call with a loud cry. He covers his mouth with his hands trying to stuff these noises back into his chest as he holds onto the last chance, the last remnant of their pitiful love. He can feel his chest throbbing and the pain is unbearable. It feels like a cold icy feeling seeping through the nooks and crannies of his body, leaving everything numb in its path.

He feels like he’s being drowned.

* * *

When Donghyuck had hung up, Mark scrambled to put on his wrinkled clothes scattered around the room.

“Fuck. Fuck. Fuck”, Mark says like a mantra. It’s not too late he repeats to himself. He just needs to find Donghyuck.

“What are you doing?”, she questions Mark as she reached for blankets to cover her naked body. The mood is completely ruined now she thinks sourly. The call was meant to get rid of Haechan not interrupt their session.

“Donghyuck. He’s going a-and he’s leaving and it’s all my fault a-and I gotta go” Mark mutters in a crazed manner slipping clumsily into his shoes and heading to the door.

“Mark, no stop. You’re going to just leave me here? Just forget about him!” She says angrily. Why is nothing going her way today?

“I can’t. I love him.” Mark says, leaving nothing but the slam of the hotel door as a reply to her frustrated scream. 

* * *

Donghyuck is startled from his silent sobbing as the car rolls to a stop.

“T-this doesn’t look like the airport”, Donghyuck sniffling looking up out of the window. He starts to panic. Is he really getting kidnapped right now?

“No, it isn’t but I think you really need a cup of hot chocolate and some studio Ghibli movies so we’re at my house…unless you have your flight soon?”, the taxi driver says looking back. Haechan can barely see his face through the tears.

“No I’ve got a while but who..?”, Donghyuck chokes out a laugh, wiping the tears from his eyes. He's laughing at how absurd the situation is. He just spent the last 20 minutes crying and shouting on the phone with a random stranger that most likely did not need to hear the messed story that is his life at 2 am. But hey its seems like life brings the weirdest things sometimes.

“Jeno”, he replies and just as he looks up with clear eyes he sees a handsome stranger with a bright eye smile staring back. Jeno. So….warm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> omgomgomg that was hard ;-; I love reading angst and crying (lowkey masochistic??) cuz it makes me feel less stressed lmao. Anyway, I hope this makes u cry because it's kinda hard to cry over my own writing sadly :( also ending with some hope for haechan cuz he deserves it


End file.
